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..Unleash The Wild Cat Within..
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..Unleash The Wild Cat Within..

Two Clans, One Forest. Its A Fight For Survival. Which Paths Are You Going To Take?
 
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 Untold secrets..

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Shadow
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Shadow


Posts : 152
Join date : 2010-05-28
Location : Do you really want to know? Didn't think so. :P

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PostSubject: Untold secrets..    Untold secrets..  EmptyFri Aug 05, 2011 1:03 am

Here's my story. I've never really written a story before, so.. Yeah, and it only took a few hours to write so, I'm sorry if its terrible. xD

Story line: 2 cats, a deputy and a warrior from two enemy clans fall desperately in love with each other. They meet at a gathering, and while their leaders are speaking, they sneak away from the others so they can talk alone, while the couple is alone, an argument breaks out among the leaders and the clans. FlameStar, leader of FlameClan believes that MeadowClan warriors are hunting on their territory, yet CloverStar seems certain her warriors haven’t placed their paws near FlameClan territory.


Characters:

FlameClan:
FlameStar - Handsome, and strong tom with shaggy ginger fur and golden yellow eyes. Nasty, and at times bitter, but kind to his own clan. Leader of FlameClan.
SunShine - Ginger she-cat with a sandy golden pelt. Medicine cat of FlameClan.
BlizzardTail - FlameClan’s deputy. Long shaggy grey pelted tom with a sturdy build, large paws and tail. He’s fearless, and strong, he’s always dreamed of one day meeting the she for him but has never succeed, he’s fun and loves to adventure into the forest. Bright blue eyes.
RobinStrike - Black pelted tom.
WhitePaw - Young snowy white apprentice with cold blue eyes. Apprentice to RobinStrike.
HoneyFur - Sandy golden she-cat, currently a queen, carrying FlameStar’s kits.

MeadowClan:
CloverStar - Leader of MeadowClan, sweet and kind but seems to hold onto regrets, her appearance isn’t mentioned much, but she’s a grey she-cat with ginger paws.
SilverClaw - Deputy of MeadowClan, has a harsh personality but shes also quiet friendly to newcomers.
FlowerWhisp - Medicine cat of MeadowClan, large yellow eyes with a spotted grey and white pelt.
DoveSong - A friendly, out going warrior, she’s also CloverStar’s daughter and is alike her in many ways. She has a sleek white pelt with ginger splashes across her slender body, and large, emerald green eyes.
FernWhisper - Delicate white she-cat with blue eyes.

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Shadow
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Shadow


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Join date : 2010-05-28
Location : Do you really want to know? Didn't think so. :P

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PostSubject: Re: Untold secrets..    Untold secrets..  EmptyFri Aug 05, 2011 1:03 am

Chapter one.

The moon sat perched in the night sky, branches jutted out in almost every direction attempting to cover the moonlight with their long, sturdy branches. The sound of cats meows and yowls rose loudly from above the tranquillity of the night. Four clans charged in from different directions, the scents mingled together, creating a odd concoction. A slender, rather thin she-cat trapped BlizzardTail’s attention, he slowly approached her, the strong scent of MeadowClan drifted into the tom’s nostrils. “Hello. I’m BlizzardTail.” He said as his large muscles rippled slightly. The elegant she-cat glanced up at the tom who was greeting her, a faint smile touched her peaceful expression “Yes. You are the deputy of FlameClan, am I correct? I’m DoveSong, CloverStar’s daughter.” BlizzardTail smiled, nodding charmingly “Yes, I am. It’s a pleasure to meet you, DoveSong.” A purr rumbled throughout BlizzardTail’s body, his heart almost skipped a beat as he held DoveSong’s gaze. “I’m sure I met you when you were an apprentice?” DoveSong said as she leisurely tipped her head, seeming uncertain. BlizzardTail thought back to when he was an apprentice at the Gathering, he remembered meeting a young agile she-cat, the she-cat and him talked throughout the whole Gathering. “Yes, I think we met as apprentices.” He said, still dreaming about the past memories he shared with the she-cat in front of him. “I liked you when I was an apprentice. I have always liked you.” DoveSong said, interrupting BlizzardTail’s thoughts. DoveSong’s cheeks vaguely blushed, her long white whiskers twitched nervously. BlizzardTail was taken by surprise, but he didn’t deny the fact that he had a crush on young DoveSong when she was an apprentice. The two warriors purred with enjoyment as they declared their love towards each other, while they were talking, the two cats did not hear their leaders and clan mates argue over territorial issues.
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Shadow
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PostSubject: Re: Untold secrets..    Untold secrets..  EmptyFri Aug 05, 2011 1:04 am

Chapter two.

“This is an outrage! My warriors would dare not place their paws on your filthy territory, FlameStar!” CloverStar said, her face wild with fury. FlameStar glanced out to his warriors, a devilish smirk across his outrageous facials. “Think what you please, CloverStar. But, keep an eye on your warriors, their foolish actions could cost you everything.” Loud storms of yowls broke out among the FlameClan cats as they all jumped to their paws and started wounding the MeadowClan cats with sharp words of detestation. BlizzardTail and DoveSong noiselessly emerged themselves into the group of cats. MeadowClan’s leader, CloverStar yowled as loud as she possibly could. “MeadowClan. Let’s go back to Camp!” The MeadowClan cats rapidly headed towards the exit of the Fourtree’s, keen to get back to Camp, DoveSong was among them. BlizzardTail’s heart fell sadly as he watched DoveSong disappear into the darkness with her clan mates. FlameClan chanted, feeling victorious that MeadowClan left the Gathering as fast as they did, but BlizzardTail didn’t quiet understand what was happening. “Ah. FlameClan will not sit back and watch MeadowClan hunt on our land.” FlameStar spat as he headed towards the exit of the Fourtree’s, BlizzardTail instantly knew FlameStar was planning on ambushing MeadowClan. BlizzardTail flattened an ear, pain flashed throughout his eyes, the pain of hurting DoveSong’s clan burned agonizingly inside him.
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Shadow
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PostSubject: Re: Untold secrets..    Untold secrets..  EmptyFri Aug 05, 2011 1:05 am

Chapter three.

The sun rose above the clouds, the morning sun had just awoken. The sky painted red, with streaks of blue shining through. BlizzardTail had woken early, he was sleep deprived and just wanted to get out of the warrior den. FlameStar had called an attack on MeadowClan, like BlizzardTail predicted. “Good, there you are, BlizzardTail!” FlameStar meowed coolly as BlizzardTail strolled into the Camp, a large, limp, rabbit with mattered brown fur hung from his jaws. BlizzardTail dropped his kill onto the fresh-kill pile and warmly purred, in attempt to mask his feelings for DoveSong from FlameStar. “You and I will be leading a patrol of warriors into MeadowClan territory very soon. Are you prepared?” FlameStar asked, his golden yellow eyes locked onto BlizzardTail. BlizzardTail nodded, seeming keen, “Yes, FlameStar. Will WhitePaw be joining us? This could be a great experience for him.” WhitePaw was a young apprentice in the clan, his parents both died in battle, it was hard for him, but he recovered nicely with support from his clan. FlameStar raised his muzzle to the sky, he smiled, revealing his large white fangs. “Yes, BlizzardTail. Oh, BlizzardTail? I believe it’s time.” The leader said, FlameStar quickly darted towards the bottom of the Highrock and yowled piercingly for his clan to gather around. “It’s time for our battle. We shall not loose, for who are we?” The clan shouted a reply, “FlameClan!” FlameStar nodded and padded towards the entrance of the Camp, which also was the exit. Many warriors and a few apprentices ran over to FlameStar, once all who were attending the ambush gathered, the leader and BlizzardTail marched out of their territory and onto MeadowClan’s. “Stop!” BlizzardTail demanded as they entered MeadowClan territory, the intense scent of MeadowClan almost smothered them to death. “I scent a MeadowClan patrol.” BlizzardTail mumbled, FlameStar padded up beside BlizzardTail. “Let’s go in the other direction. Hopefully it will lead us to their Camp.” FlameStar whispered to his warriors, they all nodded in agreement and followed their leader who led the way away from the MeadowClan patrol. As FlameStar had hoped, the path they took lead them to MeadowClan Camp. BlizzardTail peered through the bushes, looking into MeadowClan Camp as the FlameClan cats waited beside him on the outside of MeadowClan‘s Camp. DoveSong danced past BlizzardTail’s vision, his eyes went wide with joy as he watched DoveSong burst into what BlizzardTail assumed was the clan’s Medicine cat den, the den was lined with flowers and he could only just catch a glimpse of MeadowClan’s Medicine cat, FlowerWhisp. “Ready?” FlameStar meowed, without hesitation FlameStar lunged through the bushes, swooping into MeadowClan’s Camp, many warriors hastily followed FlameStar into MeadowClan Camp. BlizzardTail was the last of the warriors to enter, by the time he entered he saw that all the FlameClan warriors had a MeadowClan warrior or apprentice pinned against the ground. Except young WhitePaw who had two MeadowClan warriors latched onto his small white body, BlizzardTail fearlessly lunged towards WhitePaw, BlizzardTail locked his jaws onto the scruff of one of the warriors, who he had recognized as FernWhisper and powerfully threw her into a pile of rocks. FernWhisper’s white fur immediately turned red, she slowly stood up, eager to fight til death, BlizzardTail ignored her and turned back to WhitePaw who had gotten himself pinned by a large MeadowClan tom, the tom had given various bite marks to young WhitePaw. BlizzardTail slammed his sharp claws into the tom’s skull who had WhitePaw pinned, the tom cried as blood oozed from his skull, BlizzardTail then swiped his claws along the tom’s stomach. The tom fell off WhitePaw and slowly darted away. “Are you alright, WhitePaw?” BlizzardTail asked, his long whiskers twitched nervously as he looked around for DoveSong, the young she-cat was no where in sight. WhitePaw timidly jumped to his paws “I’m fine. Thanks for saving me, BlizzardTail.” He meowed shyly and darted over towards his mentor, RobinStrike who was fighting three MeadowClan warriors, among them was FernWhisper.
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Shadow
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PostSubject: Re: Untold secrets..    Untold secrets..  EmptyFri Aug 05, 2011 1:06 am

Last chapter.

Blood rolled down BlizzardTail’s forehead as he fell to the ground, his shaggy grey pelt now covered in patches of blood. Another sharp excruciating pain entered across his stomach, someone was preforming the belly rake on BlizzardTail. Blood oozed across the toms vision, he blindly raised his back legs and kicked whoever was attacking him, whoever was attacking him tumbled off him. BlizzardTail quickly got to his paws, his vision had slightly become clearer but his mouth hung open as he realized it was DoveSong who was attacking him “What are you doing!” He snarled through his teeth, DoveSong had already gotten back up and was about to lunge at BlizzardTail again. “I don’t want to hurt you, but, I’m forever loyal to my clan. I’m so-sorry.” She mumbled, blood filled tears rolled down her cheek. BlizzardTail flattened his ears, he hated seeing DoveSong weep. “What are you doing?!” A small but skilful black tom padded up along side Blizzard Tail, it was RobinStrike. “Let’s finish her off!” He yowled cheerfully as he leaped at DoveSong, DoveSong cried sadly as RobinStrike’s claws slashed through her white pelt but she made no attempt to fight back. BlizzardTail’s heart was torn, he wanted to save DoveSong, but couldn’t, he couldn’t leave his clan. But, BlizzardTail was clever, he decided he would try free DoveSong from RobinStrike but still be able to remain in his clan. BlizzardTail stepped towards RobinStrike and laughed cheekily, “Leave her, I want to finish her off myself!” He demanded as his large muscular body towered over RobinStrike. RobinStrike looked up at the deputy, RobinStrike’s once black pelt now turned red with blood. “She’s dead.” He said, chuckling, blood lust beamed in his wild eyes. “Sorry. Better luck next time.” RobinStrike raised himself from DoveSong’s body and eagerly threw himself into another battle, this time one with CloverStar and FlameStar. BlizzardTail quickly dropped to DoveSong’s body, his ears flattened, DoveSong was barely breathing, sadness glimmered in her eyes. “I didn’t want to have to fight you anymore, BlizzardTail. I let him kill me so you wouldn’t have too.” She choked, blood bubbled out of her mouth as she tried to speak. BlizzardTail glanced away, tears appeared in his eyes. “I love you..” She whispered as more blood poured from her body. “I love you too, DoveSong.” BlizzardTail said, knowing nothing could save her. DoveSong closed her eyes slowly, she tried to reach out and grab BlizzardTail, but didn’t have even strength to rise her paw, her breathing weakened even more. BlizzardTail stood up as he watched her die. “I will never forget you, DoveSong!” BlizzardTail cried, pain rippled throughout his whole body as he ran into rogue territory, he vowed to never return to a clan.
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PostSubject: Re: Untold secrets..    Untold secrets..  EmptyFri Aug 05, 2011 6:20 am

WOAH! THIS IS AWESOME SHADOW! O_O

This is better than the books! xD

Bravo! *Claps* Razz
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LionStride
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Age : 28
Location : DustClan.

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PostSubject: Re: Untold secrets..    Untold secrets..  EmptyFri Aug 05, 2011 3:29 pm

Agreed! Great story, Shad. :3
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PostSubject: Re: Untold secrets..    Untold secrets..  EmptyFri Aug 05, 2011 5:02 pm

Are you on the official Warriors forum? You should post this there.

But, I have two suggestions: in the first chapter, they fall in love rather quickly; you might want to add a few more paragraphs. And, you keep using the phrase "blood oozed," which is really cool-sounding, but it gets a bit repetitive. =\
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PostSubject: Re: Untold secrets..    Untold secrets..  EmptyFri Aug 05, 2011 5:40 pm

OOH. Yesh, I agree with Bristle. Smile
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PostSubject: Re: Untold secrets..    Untold secrets..  EmptySat Nov 12, 2011 7:27 pm

afro it deserves an afro. ITS THAT GOOD!
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Shadow
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PostSubject: Re: Untold secrets..    Untold secrets..  EmptySat Nov 19, 2011 10:13 pm

I remember this. o.o
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PostSubject: Re: Untold secrets..    Untold secrets..  EmptySat Nov 19, 2011 10:16 pm

Continue it, Shadow xP
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PostSubject: Re: Untold secrets..    Untold secrets..  EmptySun Nov 20, 2011 7:35 am

Yeah, I agree~ x3
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Shadow
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PostSubject: Re: Untold secrets..    Untold secrets..  EmptySun Nov 20, 2011 7:44 pm

I be lazy. o_o
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PostSubject: Re: Untold secrets..    Untold secrets..  EmptyTue Jan 08, 2013 2:10 pm

kk
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